Well Then? Work Your Worst
by SunilaMoon
Summary: Ramblings of a deranged mind, the final months leading up to Alucard imprisonment...Contain AlucardxArthur, Alucard Abuse, and Alucard going completely out of his mind...and, they're coming to take him away, haha.... Anyway, R&R please. XD


**(Authors note: Yay, Alucard abuse and ramblings...when bored...cover your favorite yaoi pairing...AlucardxArthur. xD**

**So yeah, this was just something I typed up to kill time...Enjoy, though its probably rather rough...)**

Everything leads back to you, Doesn't it, Arthur?

If I gave you everything I had, I know you'd want more, yes, you _always_ want more. Oh my master... How can I cope? You shower me with gifts, you spoil me, don't you? ...I am just that little pet, that pampered dog with a diamond studded collar, and an expensive kennel? Your grandfather hurt me so, and lowered me to this, but all for power against my kind...

But you... If only I could understand _your_ reasoning! You hand me off to those doctors, you let them to what they want to me, and once they're finished you hand me gifts and run your fingers through my hair... You cannot cause me nearly as much physical agony as your predecessors, but you're tearing my _mind_ apart! Any sanity I have maintained since my capture is fading... I must not lose that, it is all I cling to... But I am starting to enjoy this, Over so many years of waiting for freedom, waiting for a chance to kill all of you, I'm suddenly enjoying it... When you enter the room a certain calmness rushes over me, and I cannot disobey you, I cannot try to mock you... I loath you, for in the recent months I cannot live without you... You're killing me Master, can't you understand?! Slowly you're killing me... Your dark pet... and now your little lolita... How much farther can this go? How much longer can I please you before you toss me aside...? We have entered a time of peace, master, the war is over... You have no other needs for me then to fulfill your deepest carnal desires...

..But no, you're going back to prostitutes! ...Or do you actually want that _one_ woman...I know who you desire...I know why you come to me less and less... I'll kill every last one of them, Master... I'd kill them all and you'd never know, and it would be just us... it sickens me to say that I _want _you to violate me, but do I have much choice? If I don't exist for this, then what do I live on for? Imprisonment. It is imprisonment or you...I can't hope for death, it escapes me each time...

No, I'll bear with you, Arthur...besides...They're making me stronger, each day they're changing me, each day they're improving something already thought to be flawless...Each night I either pace the mansion or I find you...It is an endless cycle, but I'll survive it...and I'll be surviving it for _you_, Master, all for you... To end your life... I'll easily obey your sick commands for that day...

Yet...What is wrong with me?! I cannot let this go on... I cannot obey orders like that... I cannot _enjoy_ those nights with you...

But the choking scent of cigars and alcohol have gone to my head tonight... Its your fault... You've meddled with the seals, You've messed with my head...

What's the world about now, Arthur? Is it all about you, is it all about me?

...Or is it all about your cluttered library and lust and pain... So much pain and pleasure... It does feel fantastic...and you always come back to me in the end don't you? ...No..._you_ cannot break me, Master, I'll never fear _you_. The ones before you perhaps, but not you... No matter what...No matter how good it feels...So am I mad? Am I mad to enjoy this almost as much as you? Perhaps I am... but..but what's really the point in sanity...yes, what is the point in sanity?! Once I throw out any logical thinking it will be so much easier for the days to come! ...Everything _is_ about you, Isn't it master? You get the credit for what Hellsing does, you get the money and drinks, and the sex... and you also get me...? Is that _everything_ you could want? It is! Afterall, I'm your own little bundle of...heh..._fun_.

It shall be fun.

----

No..no...no...Now I'm nervous, so damn nervous, but that doesn't matter, ten down already...I bit the first two who tried to sedate me... No one controls me, your ancestor made the mistake to try, and now you will pay for it... yes, you'll all pay...you're paying right now! Five more. Slicing, biting, stabbing, shooting. Six more dead in the hallway. Blood. Blood. Blood. ... So rich, so fresh, oh thank you master for leaving me so much meat, you honestly thought I'd never try...I will say, Doctors take such good care of themselves... They're delicious. So how do you see me now, master? Am I still that cute young girl you ravished those nights... Not when I'm drenched in their blood...

Yes, you _did_ think they where safe, well wasn't that idiotic? They're all worthless humans, Arthur. ...Please...Don't fret over it...think of it this way...Each day those men sliced into me, each day they performed surgeries that would kill any mortal...Each day I spent hours lying on that cold table trying to heal the damage... Master, they _enjoyed_ experimenting on me, they loved my anguish...can you call such people human?

I _deserve_ to kill them, Master, they deserve to die... They are all worthless monsters and dogs...you gave me orders to kill _monsters_...and what are a few dead dogs to the world?

Do you like me now, master, do you like my true form...? Heh...It was a hard choice to make...I could have killed you as that pretty little child, that would be so ironic, would it not? Such a nice end to your sad life...but no...I've waited a long time to be able to change back to my normal self, and I feel so much stronger in this body...Thank you master, thank you and _goodnight_... Ah, if it where only that simple... Sometimes I cannot believe the abilities that come with being a Hellsing...You're just such a natural, aren't you? You counter every move, you block off every bite... I really cannot decide to hate or admire such skills...You...damn you...A table leg... You staked me with a goddamn table leg...Hardly a killing blow, yet still...You weakened me _again_ and once again you've gained control over me...

So is it confinement now? You wouldn't give me the gift of death, would you master? No, you'll drape jewelry around the neck of that little vampire toy of yours, but any gift I want you'll take...You'd never show me the mercy of death...

So what will you do Arthur? What will you do in the hours before you lock me away...?

Do your worst, Arthur. Torture me, Humiliate me, Rape me...Whatever you want...Why?

Because I am a monster, I am Dracula...and because you, and no one before or after you can ever truly _break_ me.


End file.
